How Close Do You Get?

It's the start of cold, flu, sniffle, cough, wheeze, drip season. We may be stocking up on echinacea and Sambucol and neti pots. At the first sign of a throat tickle we may start gargling with salt water. Nasal congestion may drive us to boil water seasoned with eucalyptis drops, cover the rising steam and our heads with a towel, and breathe in the pungent fumes. We may even have a few containers of hand sanitizer displayed around the house to be used after touching...well, anything.

Why such precautions? Because we may live with a partner whose immune system is compromised. Sometime the compromise is so severe, that the partner may barely have a white blood cell left to combat infection. Or the ill partner may already be dealing with complicated symptoms, ones that don't signify immune system danger, but are strong enough that a cold, on top of the other condition, could push him over the edge

So, when you or your sweetie has some form of chronic condition, and the well partner comes down with a cold, what do you do? Do you avoid each other for the duration of the cold? Does the cold-holder stay at a friend's house? Do you talk, but not touch?

I remember one winter when my pain condition was on an unstoppable wild ride, and Richard came down with a hacking, dripping cold. Having Richard read to me or stroke my hair or hold me was just about the only source of solace I had during those dark days and nights. But the thought of coming down with the flu, on top of daily pain, was just too much to risk. So we set up a buffer zone between us. We agreed that the bedroom was mine alone, and that we would not be in the same room at the same time.

Two days of this isolation did little for his cold but served mostly to shroud me in deeper melancholy than I was used to. Not only did I cry over my physical pain, but I felt such an encompassing sense of loneliness. My pain was augmented by gloom, and I had lost my best buddy and comforter. And Richard was also suffering. It broke his heart to see me so bereft, and he had lost his main caretaking job -- one of the few things he could actually do to soften my pain.

We decided that hugging was more important, and more powerful, than bacteria. We crossed the buffer zone and held each other. I didn't get sick, and chances are, the comforting contact was more healing and preventative than gallons of antibacterial disinfectant.



What do you do when the well partner comes down with a cold? or flu? Do you take any precautions? Do you keep apart? Do you carry on as usual?